Bridesmaids so far...

I'm doing the picking and asking thing VERY...S-L-O-W-L-Y...
and everyone I ask, I want it special...a special and personal request.
So far I have:

Malissa as my Matron of Honor:

(Missile and I...hobo party...she will kill me when she sees this eyepatch pic up)

She's...well...she's my lady. I spend all my time with her, we do fun things together, she knows my taste, I know her sense of direction and style, and we're honest with each other.

I asked her to be my MOH in my car. We were on our way to the suburbs on a girl's day out. I was nervous to ask...I had been planning and plotting. I wanted to surprise her with a trip to the spa, but the timing had not worked out. SO. I took her on a quest for retail therapy and on the way, I said "I have a surprise. Do you want it now or later?" and she said, "Now!" and I said, "Uh, I'm not good at getting very emotional with stuff...I mean, I WILL, but I feel dorky if I cry, so...ahhh...will you be my matron of honor" and she was so happy! And then we went and I bought us shirts with some store credit I had at Anthropologie (so ghetto I am...but we had fun). They are now our Matron of Honor shirts.

Malissa is in charge of all things happening in Chicago.

THEN, I asked Claire to be a bridesmaid.

Claire and I are fairly new friends, but I can't imagine getting married without her by my side. She's been a friend of both Bern and I - she hosted the party after which we were engaged. She's sooooo awesome...and we're both excitable about the same things. I can go to Claire's house with pockets full of dirt and she will have some fabulous glass to put it in and some amazing adjective to describe it with...and if that scenerio would actually happen, I know it would be, like, the BESTDAYEVER.


[claire in the summer...2007]

I went to Claire's house with a bottle of $10 wine and a pencil I bought her from the Garfield Park Conservatory. It was all I could afford. So sad, but there's something sweet about giving someone a pencil...right? I presented her with the wine and as she was about to throw the paper bag it came in away, I said, "OH! Claire! I have a pressy for you in there!" and she pulled out the pencil with this goofy puzzled grin...and then I began my speech:

"Listen, Claire, I wanted to come here today to ask you to be my bridesmaid"...and it went on and on...I get really excited about things...so I was talking all over myself...and she was smiling and said she was honored and I was SOOOO happy. If Claire's involved in anything, one knows it will be done up right.

Claire is in charge of making things classy in Chicago.
And also...she has to make spinach puffs one time at a bridal get-together. The one at my house. With just me and her...me in bed with a huge table cloth on as a bib...and Claire cooking and then spooning her spinach puffs into my mouth.

And last, but certainly not least, I got a Maid of Honor two days ago.

My best friend from College of Charleston, Miss Amy Kisabeth (the kiss of DEATH) - she's still IN Charleston, so this whole "PERSONAL" thing was tricky...BUT her boyfriend Ben helped me out. I emailed Ben a picture of us and a card explaining why I loved her and why I can't get married without her next to me...because she's my Amy and we've always been connected at the hip and we love each other. She's my Charleston! So Ben took her out to dinner and after they ate, he presented her with my picture and card. Amy said he was being very serious and said something like, "I have something for you...and I don't really know how to ask, so I guess I'll just ask..." (I laughed and asked her if she thought he was going to propose at that moment)...and he gave her the stuff and she laughed and said "yes" and then called me after dinner and we talked forEVER about stuff...life stuff...and she also said she was excited and honored...

Amy is in charge of all things Southern.

I feel like I have a great team so far!
There's more to come!

*Oh, and PS - all of my maidens are class act! Malissa bought me a bridal book and a magazine and is planning a shower, Claire sent me a formal "thank you note" for my asking her (you're too sweet)and is already talking about cool things to de (and experiences from weddings past), and Amy is already on top of helping me with a shower. You guys ROCK!

Catering.

My Matron of Honor Malissa and I have a project called PerPerson (see the other blog linked to my profile). With PerPerson, we have huge parties and cater them for, like, NOTHING per person. The food you see above was a whopping $50 total.

You can imagine my surprise when today I began checking out catering websites for the companies that work with the GPC. Oh - - - my - - - GOD. OHMYGOD. I did some calculations from samples and we are going to be paying $10,000 or MORE on food and bar.

Somebody help me.
I just
fell out

of my chair.

Wood-free invitations.

I have decided to go for wood-free invitations. This morning, I have been checking out these sites:

http://www.botanicalpaperworks.com/wedding-favors-and-invitations_2.php

http://www.twistedlimbpaper.com/predesigned_invitations.htm

http://www.invitesite.com/

http://www.aisledash.com/

I sent them all requests for samples...let's see how it works out!

Photobooth rentals.

(our first anniversary, the night I let Bernhardt know we were getting our dog Belvedere)

I am looking into renting a photobooth for our wedding because:
1) I love photobooths
and
2) Everyone loves photobooths - they're fun!

I have contacted this website:
http://www.photo-me.com/index.php

They are going to get back with me! YAY for black and white photobooths!!!!!!

Asking for money...

Today Bern and I went on a date to the conservatory where we will be married. We walked around, sat on a bench, and talked about wedding stuff for about an hour. It felt nice in their climate controlled environment...we were in the desert room...and the air was cool and the sun was so bright...I swear, Garfield Park has become our litle haven for dreaming on cold winter days.

While chatting, we discussed the whole idea of registering. I honestly would LOVE to register at the antique mart - they said they would help us out - but the more we think about STUFF, the less we think we NEED.

We just want to buy a house.
Just a little peace of earth.

Which means we need to ask for money in the nicest way possible...
but how does one ASK?

This is a nice little blurb about the etiquette of asking for money as a wedding gift:
http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/asking_for_money.html

It doesn't answer ALL of my questions, but solves the whole "tacky asking" kind of method.

bridesmaid advice.

Bernhardt's Aunt Bobbie told him that when you pick bridesmaids, you pick people you know you will be friends with in 10 years.

I like that.

WE GOT A LOCATION!

(Garfield Park Conservatory, Chicago IL)

I fell in love with Garfield Park Conservatory a long time ago...and since my favorite color is green, the other day it HIT me! How awesome would it be to get married surrounded by plants that I DON'T have to pay for (technically they come with the rental space! ROCK)?! Bernhardt was out of town, so I went with Jeff (instead of jogging...woops?) to the park and we ooooh'ed and ahhhh'ed over how wonderful and green it was.


(where we will probably have the wedding ceremony, in the outside gardens)

I spoke with the event planner and the price was right but we had to jump on a date (brides have already stepped up for June 2009). I got really nervous because I wanted it, but didn't want to rush Bern. SO. I asked a ton of questions, put down a refundable deposit on two weekends in July, and worried about how I would tell Bern. My friend Evan had an excellent idea about the wording - and this is great for anyone like me who is a control/organization freak (and I told this to B) - "This town is full of crazy brides. I'm not the crazy one, but I am COMPETING with crazies and I have to amp up my game in grabbing us a location in the city"...
Of course, I wasn't going to force a location (hence the REFUNDABLE deposit) but I was going to stand up for what I wanted.

When Bernhardt got back to town, I told him I was taking him on a date Saturday afternoon. As soon as we walked up to the GFC, he looked at me and said, "We should get married here!". I breathed a SIGH of relief and said, "Ohhhh, good, I'm so glad you said that because I already put down a deposit so when do you want to get married...", me talking a mile a minute, he laughing and hugging me.

His response: "Stacy, slow down! Tell me everything slowly!".


(where our reception will be)

We walked around beaming...the place is so US, it's perfect. He also told me he was happy I was so excited and that he was excited too - and NOW, we can't stop planning. It's great! For me, having a space nailed down has calmed me down - and for Bernhardt, having the space has made the idea of getting married come to life ["it's a reality now that we're paying for it and that's great!"]...it's as though we had to allow ourselves to get used to the idea of planning a wedding together.

Moral of the story? Don't be afraid to make decisions and speak up for what you want, just make sure your approach is right and your deposits are refundable. You can't FORCE people to do what you want...but you sure can plead a case!