(Bernhardt and Claire at her engagement party)
Claire and her fiance Greg are getting married this weekend in a small ceremony in Cape Cod. Before they decided on the small wedding, they were planning theirs for next year in Chicago. They ran into some of the same budget ordeals as Bern and I have, and this morning Claire and I were comparing notes and tearful confessions. She noted that moving to a new place brings about the same kind of tears and emotions as planning a wedding. Indeed. I have found myself feeling the same kind of tummy ache when it comes to missing friends and planning wedding details. What is it all about? Crying about a wedding feels really lame. And yet the tears come at such odd times over the strangest things.
Things I have cried about in the order I have wept:
1) Where will we get married?
2) Who will be ushers and how many to have?
3) Should we have a band or an i-pod DJ?
4) Is my mother happy I am getting married?
5) What on earth will we feed people?
6) Am I a good bride?
7) Do I have too many bridesmaids?
8) Will my dress be ok? Am I fat? Am I stylish?
(me, pretending to think)
(Bernhardt contemplates)
(our dog Belvedere conjures up a thought)
Um...writing this list is making me laugh. It's really silly! I'm sure Claire will give a grin later when I share this with her. It's just amazing how many emotions come out when planning this type of thing! I wonder if it has anything to do with the "little girl syndrome" I have...meaning, since I was a little girl, I have been imagining bits and pieces of what my wedding would be like. When I was 8, it was a lot like the "Material Girl" video sans all the pink (I have never been much of a pink fan). Now that it is all coming together and it is happening...well...I find myself over analyzing if I am planning it all "right".
(Bern's groomsman Paul's "emo pocket")
I feel good that I have hit a point where I can look at it all with less of a racing heart and more with the giggles. My cry list is so emo...in fact, it's not even as cool as "emo"...it's like, "YUPPIE EMO". It's "in two years I need a black baby stroller" EMO. It's "Vapid Emo". I don't want to be like that.
I can vow not to cry about little things, but I'm sure I will. In the meantime, I'm glad to have people around me to give that swift needed kick in the pants when called for.
(when Bern worked for Threadless, he modeled for the "Emo CareBear" shirt)
2 comments:
Aw, Stace.
I'm so glad you're asleep in my guest room right now!
I think if you've had dreams of your wedding ever since you were little then you should follow through on them. As hard as it might be sometimes just try to remember that even if you were having a tiny impromptu wedding on Cape Cod you'd probably still cry just as much (I have).
Just breathe. You're going to be such a beautiful bride and you are going to have such a unique wedding and I just know that everyone in attendance will feel lucky that they got to be there.
1) Your guest room is SO COMFY. Thank you for having me!
2) Thanks for your kind words. I can't wait for the wedding and I am so happy I get to share it with great people like you. We can help each other breathe this week:).
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