In the beginning of planning, I wanted a simple wedding. Then my ideas got more lavish. Then they pared down. Now they just feel - - - empty. I talked with Bernhardt about this and he made me feel better - he says I've been "keeping up with the Jones' and that is getting [me] down". Funny...he's right.
It's amazing how women can compare themselves to others. I've found that I don't like bridal magazines or other "bridey" things because I feel low key, but I also feel this strange pull about a budget. Our budget is small. And I like that's it's small and very DIY...but in the world of weddings, everything out there is so BIG and American...and I start comparing myself to the bride books and to the other weddings going on around me...and then I start feeling like I need to be in step...I need to run to keep up...I don't necessarily need centerpieces for the reception tables...but I start to need more of everything else. I need to be "the best" and it simply shouldn't be about that.
It's time for me to mentally regroup and ask myself this question: What is a wedding?
I believe it is a celebration of love. Pure and simple.
And in that case...all I need is Bernhardt.
Nothing else.
