Pressure?

I am in Chicago finishing up school through this Thursday and have been doing wedding stuff for the past week. My mom came into town to help (I will post some pictures once she sends them to me from the cake tasting and visiting the conservatory,) and now I am staying with my friend Claire who is also a bridesmaid.

(Bernhardt and Claire at her engagement party)

Claire and her fiance Greg are getting married this weekend in a small ceremony in Cape Cod. Before they decided on the small wedding, they were planning theirs for next year in Chicago. They ran into some of the same budget ordeals as Bern and I have, and this morning Claire and I were comparing notes and tearful confessions. She noted that moving to a new place brings about the same kind of tears and emotions as planning a wedding. Indeed. I have found myself feeling the same kind of tummy ache when it comes to missing friends and planning wedding details. What is it all about? Crying about a wedding feels really lame. And yet the tears come at such odd times over the strangest things.

Things I have cried about in the order I have wept:
1) Where will we get married?
2) Who will be ushers and how many to have?
3) Should we have a band or an i-pod DJ?
4) Is my mother happy I am getting married?
5) What on earth will we feed people?
6) Am I a good bride?
7) Do I have too many bridesmaids?
8) Will my dress be ok? Am I fat? Am I stylish?
(me, pretending to think)

(Bernhardt contemplates)

(our dog Belvedere conjures up a thought)


Um...writing this list is making me laugh. It's really silly! I'm sure Claire will give a grin later when I share this with her. It's just amazing how many emotions come out when planning this type of thing! I wonder if it has anything to do with the "little girl syndrome" I have...meaning, since I was a little girl, I have been imagining bits and pieces of what my wedding would be like. When I was 8, it was a lot like the "Material Girl" video sans all the pink (I have never been much of a pink fan). Now that it is all coming together and it is happening...well...I find myself over analyzing if I am planning it all "right".

(Bern's groomsman Paul's "emo pocket")

I feel good that I have hit a point where I can look at it all with less of a racing heart and more with the giggles. My cry list is so emo...in fact, it's not even as cool as "emo"...it's like, "YUPPIE EMO". It's "in two years I need a black baby stroller" EMO. It's "Vapid Emo". I don't want to be like that.

I can vow not to cry about little things, but I'm sure I will. In the meantime, I'm glad to have people around me to give that swift needed kick in the pants when called for.

(when Bern worked for Threadless, he modeled for the "Emo CareBear" shirt)

K.I.S.S.

Bernhardt was a marketing major.
When he was in college, one of his professors gave him this bit of advice about writing papers:
K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple, Stupid.

I thought of this the other night at dinner.
Bernhardt and I MOVED TO CHARLESTON last Sunday (it is wonderful here) and family has been popping around to help us with the unpacking and the settling in...and the helping us eat at restaurants thing.

(us, two days before the move)
At dinner with B's parents, I went over the catering packet prices I have received since I started making calls...number to make your tummy drop. Everyone I have called has given us $14, 500" as the MINIMUM wedding cost. I have stressed our small budget, but no one has really listened. I think these companies believe that we will just ACCEPT the expensiveness of it all. However, we're not willing to go into debt for our wedding. It's SILLY. It's just a party.

As we went over the numbers, Bern's stepfather (Marty) said, "why don't you just have heavy appetizers?" and we stopped. We've been trying the "buffet" thing, but for the sake of an evening wedding and not being tacky, we've been trying to feed everyone a banquet meal. Sadly, we can't afford to do that. Instead, on our invitations, we are going to let everyone know we're just feeding them "heavy hors d'oeuvres". We're going to KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID.

There have been a few catering places that have not called me back when they heard my shoe-strings budget. I find that insulting. Not everyone planning a wedding is RICH - and I KNOW city companies want to make money, but still. The idea of THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS in wedding catering should be out there. TEACHERS get married every day, OK? And we don't have doctor budgets, thank you very much. SO. I'm going to call every catering place on that park list (the district gives you 12 choices for caterers) and I'm just going to be very firm about the money situation. My phone calls in the beginning were a bit embarrassed of my small budget and I don't think I got across the importance of AFFORDABLE.

This time, firm K.I.S.S. planning is ON!