Bridesmaids so far...

I'm doing the picking and asking thing VERY...S-L-O-W-L-Y...
and everyone I ask, I want it special...a special and personal request.
So far I have:

Malissa as my Matron of Honor:

(Missile and I...hobo party...she will kill me when she sees this eyepatch pic up)

She's...well...she's my lady. I spend all my time with her, we do fun things together, she knows my taste, I know her sense of direction and style, and we're honest with each other.

I asked her to be my MOH in my car. We were on our way to the suburbs on a girl's day out. I was nervous to ask...I had been planning and plotting. I wanted to surprise her with a trip to the spa, but the timing had not worked out. SO. I took her on a quest for retail therapy and on the way, I said "I have a surprise. Do you want it now or later?" and she said, "Now!" and I said, "Uh, I'm not good at getting very emotional with stuff...I mean, I WILL, but I feel dorky if I cry, so...ahhh...will you be my matron of honor" and she was so happy! And then we went and I bought us shirts with some store credit I had at Anthropologie (so ghetto I am...but we had fun). They are now our Matron of Honor shirts.

Malissa is in charge of all things happening in Chicago.

THEN, I asked Claire to be a bridesmaid.

Claire and I are fairly new friends, but I can't imagine getting married without her by my side. She's been a friend of both Bern and I - she hosted the party after which we were engaged. She's sooooo awesome...and we're both excitable about the same things. I can go to Claire's house with pockets full of dirt and she will have some fabulous glass to put it in and some amazing adjective to describe it with...and if that scenerio would actually happen, I know it would be, like, the BESTDAYEVER.


[claire in the summer...2007]

I went to Claire's house with a bottle of $10 wine and a pencil I bought her from the Garfield Park Conservatory. It was all I could afford. So sad, but there's something sweet about giving someone a pencil...right? I presented her with the wine and as she was about to throw the paper bag it came in away, I said, "OH! Claire! I have a pressy for you in there!" and she pulled out the pencil with this goofy puzzled grin...and then I began my speech:

"Listen, Claire, I wanted to come here today to ask you to be my bridesmaid"...and it went on and on...I get really excited about things...so I was talking all over myself...and she was smiling and said she was honored and I was SOOOO happy. If Claire's involved in anything, one knows it will be done up right.

Claire is in charge of making things classy in Chicago.
And also...she has to make spinach puffs one time at a bridal get-together. The one at my house. With just me and her...me in bed with a huge table cloth on as a bib...and Claire cooking and then spooning her spinach puffs into my mouth.

And last, but certainly not least, I got a Maid of Honor two days ago.

My best friend from College of Charleston, Miss Amy Kisabeth (the kiss of DEATH) - she's still IN Charleston, so this whole "PERSONAL" thing was tricky...BUT her boyfriend Ben helped me out. I emailed Ben a picture of us and a card explaining why I loved her and why I can't get married without her next to me...because she's my Amy and we've always been connected at the hip and we love each other. She's my Charleston! So Ben took her out to dinner and after they ate, he presented her with my picture and card. Amy said he was being very serious and said something like, "I have something for you...and I don't really know how to ask, so I guess I'll just ask..." (I laughed and asked her if she thought he was going to propose at that moment)...and he gave her the stuff and she laughed and said "yes" and then called me after dinner and we talked forEVER about stuff...life stuff...and she also said she was excited and honored...

Amy is in charge of all things Southern.

I feel like I have a great team so far!
There's more to come!

*Oh, and PS - all of my maidens are class act! Malissa bought me a bridal book and a magazine and is planning a shower, Claire sent me a formal "thank you note" for my asking her (you're too sweet)and is already talking about cool things to de (and experiences from weddings past), and Amy is already on top of helping me with a shower. You guys ROCK!

Catering.

My Matron of Honor Malissa and I have a project called PerPerson (see the other blog linked to my profile). With PerPerson, we have huge parties and cater them for, like, NOTHING per person. The food you see above was a whopping $50 total.

You can imagine my surprise when today I began checking out catering websites for the companies that work with the GPC. Oh - - - my - - - GOD. OHMYGOD. I did some calculations from samples and we are going to be paying $10,000 or MORE on food and bar.

Somebody help me.
I just
fell out

of my chair.

Wood-free invitations.

I have decided to go for wood-free invitations. This morning, I have been checking out these sites:

http://www.botanicalpaperworks.com/wedding-favors-and-invitations_2.php

http://www.twistedlimbpaper.com/predesigned_invitations.htm

http://www.invitesite.com/

http://www.aisledash.com/

I sent them all requests for samples...let's see how it works out!

Photobooth rentals.

(our first anniversary, the night I let Bernhardt know we were getting our dog Belvedere)

I am looking into renting a photobooth for our wedding because:
1) I love photobooths
and
2) Everyone loves photobooths - they're fun!

I have contacted this website:
http://www.photo-me.com/index.php

They are going to get back with me! YAY for black and white photobooths!!!!!!

Asking for money...

Today Bern and I went on a date to the conservatory where we will be married. We walked around, sat on a bench, and talked about wedding stuff for about an hour. It felt nice in their climate controlled environment...we were in the desert room...and the air was cool and the sun was so bright...I swear, Garfield Park has become our litle haven for dreaming on cold winter days.

While chatting, we discussed the whole idea of registering. I honestly would LOVE to register at the antique mart - they said they would help us out - but the more we think about STUFF, the less we think we NEED.

We just want to buy a house.
Just a little peace of earth.

Which means we need to ask for money in the nicest way possible...
but how does one ASK?

This is a nice little blurb about the etiquette of asking for money as a wedding gift:
http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/asking_for_money.html

It doesn't answer ALL of my questions, but solves the whole "tacky asking" kind of method.

bridesmaid advice.

Bernhardt's Aunt Bobbie told him that when you pick bridesmaids, you pick people you know you will be friends with in 10 years.

I like that.

WE GOT A LOCATION!

(Garfield Park Conservatory, Chicago IL)

I fell in love with Garfield Park Conservatory a long time ago...and since my favorite color is green, the other day it HIT me! How awesome would it be to get married surrounded by plants that I DON'T have to pay for (technically they come with the rental space! ROCK)?! Bernhardt was out of town, so I went with Jeff (instead of jogging...woops?) to the park and we ooooh'ed and ahhhh'ed over how wonderful and green it was.


(where we will probably have the wedding ceremony, in the outside gardens)

I spoke with the event planner and the price was right but we had to jump on a date (brides have already stepped up for June 2009). I got really nervous because I wanted it, but didn't want to rush Bern. SO. I asked a ton of questions, put down a refundable deposit on two weekends in July, and worried about how I would tell Bern. My friend Evan had an excellent idea about the wording - and this is great for anyone like me who is a control/organization freak (and I told this to B) - "This town is full of crazy brides. I'm not the crazy one, but I am COMPETING with crazies and I have to amp up my game in grabbing us a location in the city"...
Of course, I wasn't going to force a location (hence the REFUNDABLE deposit) but I was going to stand up for what I wanted.

When Bernhardt got back to town, I told him I was taking him on a date Saturday afternoon. As soon as we walked up to the GFC, he looked at me and said, "We should get married here!". I breathed a SIGH of relief and said, "Ohhhh, good, I'm so glad you said that because I already put down a deposit so when do you want to get married...", me talking a mile a minute, he laughing and hugging me.

His response: "Stacy, slow down! Tell me everything slowly!".


(where our reception will be)

We walked around beaming...the place is so US, it's perfect. He also told me he was happy I was so excited and that he was excited too - and NOW, we can't stop planning. It's great! For me, having a space nailed down has calmed me down - and for Bernhardt, having the space has made the idea of getting married come to life ["it's a reality now that we're paying for it and that's great!"]...it's as though we had to allow ourselves to get used to the idea of planning a wedding together.

Moral of the story? Don't be afraid to make decisions and speak up for what you want, just make sure your approach is right and your deposits are refundable. You can't FORCE people to do what you want...but you sure can plead a case!

crazy.

My fiance thinks I am going a little crazy with all of the research and planning...and although I understand his concern, I am honestly no bridezilla. The location is just the THING you have to get secured in a city like Chicago...most places have waiting lists 2 YEARS in advance for spaces. We have 1 1/2 years...and I FOUND the spot I want to have it all in...it's well-priced, easy, beautiful...and now I'm scared to tell my fiance. I don't want him to think I'm totally bonkers for putting a deposit on it in January! BUT June of 2009 is ALREADY BOOKED...and Saturday's are going FAST.

SO, I'm going to take a deep breath and state my case tonight. Or tomorrow.

Foo.

How to plan a cheap wedding.

(mood lighting on the cheap)

I was looking for stuff online and found this article:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Plan-a-Cheap-Wedding&id=16735

It's fantastic! It is by a woman named Claire Bowes who has a wedding planning online site:
http://www.weddings.start-home-based-business-ideas.com/

We'll see about that one later...
however, the first article has me very inspired...
I've been looking at catering and my jaw has been dropping...$185 a plate at the Allerton!

(a cheap meal of carrots)

It costs $5000 to rent the Newberry Library.
On national average, I hear it costs $25,000 to have a wedding these days!
It's CRAZY how expensive being alive is!!!

However, Chicago is also a great place to get married...it's a nice, central location for our families. We have two airports. Hotels. Apartments. Friends.
It is also the place where Bernhardt and Stacy (moi) fell in love.

(keepin' the romance alive, 2007)

All of this destination shopping without a list is futile. In order to begin the planning, we need to know how many people we will be inviting...let the list begin!

Exercising, day one.

So, today I went running with Jeff.
I thought - - - I was going - - - to die. Possibly.
Hmmmmm.

I have never been a runner, but I WANT to be. After the torture, I felt WONDERFUL.

Moral of the story? Just get out there and try! I went almost 30 minutes today - we are going again this Friday - I'm going to try 35 minutes on Friday! The meantime? Gym fun - swimming and things that are fun, like classes that strike my fancy.

AND for motivation, I got a polarized heart monitor - its a strap and a watch - you wear both (strap around chest and watch on wrist) and it tells you how many calories you burn and let's you know when you're in your zone - burning lots of calories makes the work...more fun? Yeah! More fun!

I can't wait to look great in a wedding dress!

Matron of Honor...

(my friends Chris and Emily and their wedding party)

I have made only one decision for the time being about the whole bridal side/maid thing: I have asked my dear friend Malissa to be my "Matron of Honor" and she said YES! We celebrated by going somewhere out of our element - the MALL. We got lost on the way to the burbs and giggled our way to Anthropologie, Urban Outfitters, and DELIAH's! (a walk down memory lane...because seriously, we felt old in there!) - we also splurged on Aveda things. Retail therapy felt good. We drove home munching on Twizzlers - it was one of those days where being a girl was the best thing on Earth!

We had some nice talks regarding the wedding - both Bern and I are having trouble deciding who to be groomsmen and bridesmaids. Is it a practical decision? There's a lot of work involved in the "honor". Is it partially heart and partially who SHOULD be there? Do people even WANT to be in the bridal party? Will anyone get their feelings hurt? How many is too many? It seems like the most exciting yet daunting task - and I feel torn - I mean, I can't pick everyone I know to stand up there with me...but I want to...


(my friend Adam dances with his bride and her bridesmaids at their wedding)

When I was younger, I always thought of bridesmaid picking as kind of a popularity contest - like, if so-and-so is your favorite person ever, you pick them. That was before I was engaged. Now I realize, in the land of friendship, at least for me, it's impossible to pick favorites. We have those we call our "best friends" - these are the people that are friends forever...but I find my dearest friends are scattered across the US - and the kind of work that being a bridesmaid entails might not be practical for those I want to ask. They may just want to fly to Chicago and be duty free...

So...since this is totally tough, I have decided to wait until June to make the bridesmaid call. That's plenty of time to just CHILL.

Great planning websites...so far...

http://ourmarriage.com/html/save-the-date.html

http://www.weddinggazette.com/content/004572.shtml

http://www.marthastewart.com/weddings?lnc=8b99cf380e1dd010VgnVCM1000005b09a00aRCRD&rsc=breadcrumb_weddings

Where...

oh where...
oh where on EARTH are we going to get married?

Jeff is awesome.

My friend Jeff has offered his assistance in helping me get into some cardio fitness routine...basically, I just need someone to help me get with it and get interested because I think working out is totally boring. I love how I feel AFTER, but before and during, I feel a sense of dread that is comparable to that time I was waiting to take the SAT and I felt bloated...but imagine that EVERY TIME you step on a StairMaster.

Jeff is a personal trainer - he is vegan and trains people who have the vegan/vegetarian way of life - he is strong and smart and has agreed to help me even though I eat meat:). He's a true fitness guru - he wants to see me succeed and get my act together on the health front - that's a true friend who will help a young lady like that. He is being a real friend by being my workout partner for the next few weeks. I owe him a lot for his assistance.

My point?
Workout partners ROCK and motivate you to get your act together. If you have a better income than yours truly, getting a personal trainer can be worth it, just do your research and try not to go through a gym system...that's just TOO expensive. People know people and can give referrals. Jeff is the perfect trainer to hire because he believes in what he does and he LIVES it. If you live in the Chicago area, find him on myspace here:
the url is www.myspace.com/FxTxPxTx
and he is the founder of Follow Through Personal Training.

Summer...

My foot, walking on my street, last summer...

We've decided the summer after next would be a nice time to have a wedding - that way I'll have my career in check (I finish grad school and will have finished my first year teaching at this point) and the summer will be MINE ALL MINE (demonic laugh insert here)...

I'm nervous about it. That means the real planning starts this upcoming June. Which means a budget shift on our part...more money faster...etc. SO - I've started thinking about ways to save money NOW.

1) PerPerson Engagement Party - if you don't know me, check my other blog (see my profile...it's the only other blog listed) - what we (my partner Malissa and I) do is have nice big parties for not a lot of money - the last party we had was a Hobo-Chili party - we made enough food to feed 24 for $38 - that's $1.58 per person (get it?). I want to have a super cheap but large engagement party - the budget will be a bit larger than usual...because I want to have drinks...but I know we can do it.

2) Friend favors - what artsy friends do I have and what kind of favors can I pull? I'm thinking "do me this favor and don't worry about a courtesy wedding gift" kind of thing...we know lots of creative people. I'm keeping this one open...

3) Gift after reception - I got all over-excited and thought a cool thing for a wedding reception could be to rent a photobooth...I'm all over it...as an option...guests could take a photo for our wedding book and leave with one of them? That beats chocolate with our names on them...
although my friends Malissa and Jeff gave people pears at their wedding...and that was AMAZING - wow, stream-of-consciousness here...so much in my brain...
Produce is good.
Another friend had bottled water as their gift:

It was fantastic to have during the ride home...

4) Wedding dress: Malissa told me a cool place (I heard her say "Damn Couture" but I know it was something classy...what was it?). J.Crew has a nice affordable wedding collection...and indiebride.com has a nice section where people sell their dresses. I want to spend $800 or less on my dress.

And last but not least...
5) Who to invite? This helps the food budget. The list starts now...and man, oh man, I want to invite EVERYONE! Why not, right?

I will leave you with a picture from Malissa and Jeff's wedding in 2005 -
A Motley Crew:

www.sparkpeople.com

One great way to add cardio to your life:

DANCE WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHENEVER POSSIBLE!

I've decided that in 2 years, I'd like to lose 18 pounds. This is totally feasible and has nothing to do with a bad body image or anything. I like me. I like my figure. However, sometimes I don't feel very healthy and I KNOW my size needs less weight...plus, I've got dainty bones...or something like that - I got a massage over Christmas and I was told "dainty bones"...so, er, a-yes...I'm shedding some L-B's to make life more comfy for my dainty bones:). Plus, I want to look AMAZING at my wedding...I won't lie...but I want to do it the right way.

How am I going to get to 118? Well...I love food...but I could stand to make smarter choices. And working out makes me feel good. SO. I'm going to just...you know...work out but not kill myself and eat for healthy feelings and good skin. I've got 2 YEARS to figure out what works for me. Most people do it in much less time.

I registered at www.sparkpeople.com, which is a really awesome sight that lets you track calories and fitness. It's been really helpful to look at what I consume...OH, and it's FREE! Weeeeeeee! It also has lots of articles that are motivating.

Note: I am not a cheesy or obsessive dieter AT ALL. I don't like limiting things. If you want to diet without giving up too much of your life, this is a fantastic way to go (I think). That and BELIEVING you can do it. Because without the belief nothing will happen.

Engaged!

As of January 1, 2008 I am engaged.



Wow.
Head rush.
Heart flutter.

I'm a wedding person in disguise. I am. I love going to them and I have always had the idea of marrying the perfect person in my mind. Now that I have FOUND the perfect man, I have no idea about what kind of wedding I want...never mind the "I" - WE have no clue!

We're 2 children of the 80's meaning we have 4 sets of parents and 10 grandparents - we have endless amounts of half-siblings, cousins, stepsisters and stepbrothers, aunts, uncles...you get the picture. We have a lot of friends. Basically, it's going to be a huge wedding - - - which means we need a nice big place to house them all and lots of food. That's as far as we've gotten so far! It's great and fantastic and totally overwhelming all at once.

I am feminine but not girly. I hate pink. Roses are cliche. I don't enjoy ribbons. Yet I consider my tastes vintage. My fiance is modern and simple. He loves efficiency. We both hate stress, chaos, and being out of control. I believe our goals are similar, but they're not defined...yet...

We have set a 2 year goal - both my fiance and I are not established in our careers - I am finishing up grad school this year and I HOPE I find a job!!! My fiance (wowowow!) may be going back to school when I finish up...which means slow saving and picking smart options all around...

I know we can do this in a totally civilized, smart, stress-free manner...and I have decided to document the process blogging about what we learn as we go - how to make decisions together, not bump heads, and make our families happy all while planning a wedding that we actually want to participate in - because we're a low key couple...we just love each other with or without a wedding.

More to come! Suggestions are welcome!