Not thinking...

This has been the first weekend I haven't been worried or nervous about the wedding...and here I go contradicting myself and writing about it:).

But seriously...I think it's because I had food and wine with my "staff" of bridesmaids and they made me feel good and not worried about planning - it's nice to have friends...a "crew"...whatever you call it...to feel that there are people behind you making you feel smiley. Claire, Jade, Malissa, and yours truly went to Vintage Wine Bar for a rockin' good time.
http://www.vintage-chicago.com/



We took Polaroids of us in "action" and Claire gave me a beautiful scrapbook to put all the planning pictures in...I'm really embracing this girly side of myself and I LIKE it. I've never even considered a wedding scrapbook (even though I am a compulsive archivist) and now I can't wait to paste everything inside and show it off at the reception next year!


Two of the ladies (Malissa and Jade) and I went to a Hula Hoop yoga/dance class this past Friday at Moksha Yoga here in Chicago. For those who live here, check it:
http://www.mokshayoga.com/events/mercedesgomez0208.html

We had SO MUCH FUN hooping, jumping, and dancing...and I've decided to beat these winter blues with more group classes and fun workouts like these. I haven't laughed to hard in ages - in the first class we learned how to limbo and butt-bump the hoop. We celebrated Jade getting a full-time zoo-keeping job (yup, she's a zoologist boys)and giggled and yelled at Chicago's "Old Man Winter". It made me feel happy to be living and getting married here.

Bridal woes...

(me and a large portion of veal)

For some reason, ever since Bernhardt proposed, I have been way too conscious of my weight, chastising myself for gaining the awesome Chicago Winter 10 - picking on myself if I have anything too fatty...and it sucks. It is a horrible thing to feel bad about myself just so I can fit in a stupid dress in a year. It's been making me really take stock in the things that are important to me...and I think I've been acting selfish and mopey because I feel fat. It's so dumb. So I'm not going to worry about my wedding dress anymore or how skinny I am. I'm Stace! I have curves. SO WHAT? Right?

(us, at a gas station in IN, summer 2007)

I had a great talk with Bernhardt and he set me straight when I was feeling really bad...he said the sweetest thing I have ever heard - he said, "Stacy, I wish you could just see the things I see...I think you're beautiful...and I don't think you're fat at all! I think you're so beautiful! And we act as each other's better halves, so...you know...know that I'm right and you are beautiful. Believe it. Live a happy life and don't give yourself a hard time. We have a year to just BE healthier."

(us, dancing at home after a rainstorm, 2006)
So...I'm going to take his advice and chill out. Instead of my butt and my waist, I'm going to be happy and active and rejoice in the fact that I'm marrying someone awesome. Because this selfish "I'm fat" thing is really just bringing me down.

Hidden Costs.

SO. We just got the paperwork for Garfield Park in the mail and there are about $1000 hidden fees! AGH!
I feel so..duped.
So now, over the weekend Bern and I are reading the fine print, coming up with a list of questions, and are going to make an appointment with the conservatory.

They even got the RENTAL HOURS wrong.

Man.
I think everyone goes through this...but still. WHAT A PAIN.

I think the solution is documenting everything - having every last detail in writing so you don't get screwed in the long run.